“It’s not good for Adam to be alone” says God in Genesis 2:18. But we know that being with other people is not easy. In my previous insights I have looked at different patterns of behaviour that we may default to when we feel anxious or stressed. These include triangles, fusion, over-functioning, and cutoff. All … Read more

“I want to be alone” was Greta Garbo’s famous line from the 1932 film Grand Hotel, though through her reclusive lifestyle it was often thought that she said it herself, though she denied it. In this series I have looked at the various ways that we react when anxiety levels rise in emotional systems. I … Read more

Fix You “And the tears come streaming down your faceWhen you lose something you can’t replaceWhen you love someone, but it goes to wasteCould it be worse?Lights will guide you homeAnd ignite your bonesAnd I will try to fix you” Chris Martin’s haunting lyrics in the Coldplay classic ‘Fix You’ speak of the pain of … Read more

We all get anxious sometimes Most of us carry some degree of anxiety for much of our lives. Earlier in this series I explored why our anxious responses can become almost automatic, especially when events affect those closest to us. In the last article I looked at one of Murray Bowen’s observations: our tendency to … Read more

Triangles, Triangles They are everywhere. The roof of my house has triangles. My Ikea self-assembly bookshelves are held upright by triangles. The Queen Elizabeth II Bridge over the Thames Estuary is full of triangles (as is just about any other large bridge you can think of). There is a reason for this: triangles cannot change … Read more

Don’t Worry Be Happy! “Don’t Worry. Be Happy” sang Bobby McFerrin in 1988. A little before that in 1977 Bob Marley said something similar; “Baby don’t worry about a thing, cuz every little thing is gonna be all right”. Hoping that other people will be at peace is a common greeting in many different cultures … Read more

When I was growing up, many of the churches that I was part of had Family Services. Over time the language around these services has changed so that most churches now refer to them as ‘All Age Worship’. There were no doubt good motives behind making the change, perhaps because the word family was seen … Read more